Drag Me to Hell (2009)

O Masterpiece

O Excellent

O Good

O OK

O Mediocrity

X Avoid

Review by Jason Pyles / June 1, 2009

Movies like “Drag Me to Hell” are irrefutable justification for movie critics, as is the misrepresented marketing of such films. This is the kind of movie where spectators leave before it ends (which happened during my screening) and demand refunds. Unless you’re a special kind of movie-lover, I recommend avoiding “Drag Me to Hell,” but probably not for the reasons you suspect.

Sam Raimi directed this movie, and he also co-wrote it with his brother, Ivan. Now, I should note that both Raimis are fairly competent filmmakers. “Spider-Man 3” (2007), which wasn’t as good as its predecessors, was directed by Sam and both brothers were screenwriters. Noting their abilities lends support to what follows.

The problem with “Drag Me to Hell” is its marketing. It has been portrayed as a serious attempt at horror, but actually, it’s a hybrid of horror and comedy-horror, a la “The Evil Dead” (1981) and “Army of Darkness” (1992) — both Raimi products. Are you starting to get the picture?

Yes, “Drag Me to Hell” is obviously meant to achieve two purposes: to get cheap, jumpy scares and to slip a new, laughably bad cult favorite in on unsuspecting moviegoers. Indeed, if this film’s previews had represented it accurately, its box office numbers would be drastically lower. This is not a pay-good-money to see kind of movie. Remember “Blood Diner” (1987)? It’s not quite that bad, but it comes close at times.

Ironically, Christine Brown (Alison Lohman) — the young woman at risk of being dragged to hell — is a good person. As the movie begins, everything in her life is coming into alignment. She’s dating a great guy, and she’s in the running for a position as the assistant bank manager at a California bank.

But while trying to prove that she can make the tough calls, she denies a grotesque gypsy woman an extension on her loan, which means the old lady will be left homeless. The elderly woman begs, causing a scene, and is removed from the premises. To make a long story short, the creepy woman places a curse on Christine that will result in her being terrorized by a demon for three days, after which she’ll literally be dragged to hell to suffer for eternity ... unless she can find a way to escape the curse.

It wouldn’t be right for me to describe the comical ridiculousness that unfolds (in case anyone still plans to see this movie), but let me just say this: “Drag Me to Hell” could have easily been titled “Scary Movie 5.” And if there ever is a “Scary Movie 5,” even though “Drag Me” seems like a good candidate for parodying, it probably wouldn’t work because the source material is already so farcical.

The point is, this film is made just fine for what its devious creators were trying to accomplish — which is horror-movie kitsch. Judging it in those terms (which are lenient), “Drag Me to Hell” isn’t that bad. But judging it against serious horror movies that really try to be scary, such as “The Haunting in Connecticut,” it’s barely mediocrity.

Ultimately, I’ve panned “Drag Me to Hell” because it betrays what the previews have led people to expect. Don’t forget to hug your local movie critic today.

Directed by Sam Raimi

Alison Lohman / Lorna Raver / Justin Long

Horror     99 min.

MPAA Rating: PG-13 (for sequences of horror violence, terror, disturbing images and language)